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As life for students slowly returns to normal amid the novel coronavirus pandemic, there are a number of concerns people continue to weigh: Can we trust children to keep masks on all day? What protections are in place for teachers with compromised immune systems? Is custodial staff being given enough personal protective equipment (PPE) to do their jobs safely? Added to this list, apparently, is: What happens if a teacher disseminates anti-vaccine information?

One recent example of this precise scenario comes to us from Lehi, Utah, where a physical education teacher turned an assembly to honor veterans into an opportunity to spew anti-vaxx rhetoric and, for some reason, rant about socialism, as reported by Deseret News. 

Larry Law, who works as a physical education teacher at Dry Creek Elementary School, is also a military veteran. On Monday, the school held a ceremony to honor veterans, which is reportedly a tradition the entire district participates in. Law was recognized for his service during the ceremony and after talking about his military service, he jumped into anti-vaccine rhetoric.

Deseret News reports receiving an image of Law in front of a slide that reads: “Many college students think socialist/communist ideas sound appealing … Talk to someone who has escaped a socialist country. Ask them about how corrupt the government is, how they control your life, how they harm and kill innocent children.” Mind you, this presentation is being held at a literal elementary school.

“If we don’t teach our students the truth about our Constitution,” the slide reportedly reads. “They will end up slaves to bullies.”

The parent of a child who attends the elementary school (and asked not to be publicly identified) told Deseret Law’s speech was “basically full of anti-Asian rhetoric” as well as suggesting that getting “free handouts,” including groceries, is for “lazy” people and innately anti-American. The same parent said Law suggested that fighting COVID-19 vaccine mandates is basically the same thing as fighting bullies. The parent said Law also characterized the government as being a “bully” in terms of advising people to get the vaccine.

As dug up by Deseret, Law works on an anti-vaccine blog called Angie’s Option Grass Roots Movement. On the blog, Law writes about disagreeing with the Food and Drug Administration’s approval of the COVID-19 vaccine for children. Law also described the pandemic as “socialist inspired.”

The Alpine School District confirmed via an email to the outlet that the incident did, indeed, happen, and that it’s under investigation. According to the Salt Lake Tribune, the outlet was informed that the school’s principal quickly ended the assembly and talked to faculty and staff members about the situation. In an email sent to the Tribune by district spokesperson David Stephenson, the incident was categorized as “isolated” and “unfortunate.”

Disturbingly, this isn’t the only incident involving a teacher spreading anti-vaccine hysteria to children. Daily Kos recently covered, for example, the family who came forward with concerns after their child left school basically terrified of the vaccine. The child, who insisted they didn’t want another shot ever gain, cited their teacher having told them that your baby could be taken from you if you refused vaccines while in the hospital. Thankfully the eighth-grader was quick-thinking enough to record the teacher’s bizarre rants for evidence. 

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Department of Homeland Security (DHS) Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas said that an investigation into the mistreatment of Haitian migrants by border agents on horseback at the southern border this past September would be conducted “with tremendous speed and tremendous force,” and finished “in days—not weeks.” 

Nearly two months later, the department said in a statement that its watchdog has “declined to investigate,” and “referred the matter back” to Customs and Border Protection’s (CBP) Office of Professional Responsibility (OPR).

DHS’ statement said OPR “has followed customary process in its investigation of this matter,” including a review of footage and “the interview of witnesses, employees, and CBP leadership.” It is not clear of any of these witnesses are Haitian migrants themselves. Advocates in September filed a civil rights complaint urging a stop to the deportation of migrants who were witnesses to abuses.

“Once completed, the results of the investigation will be provided to CBP management to determine whether disciplinary action is appropriate and, if so, the specific discipline to be imposed,” the statement continued. “At that time, the employees will be afforded due process, including an opportunity to respond, and any corrective actions will comport with applicable laws and regulations.  The disciplinary process, which is separate from the fact-finding investigation, is subject to certain timelines established in CBP’s labor-management agreement with the employees’ union of the United States Border Patrol.”

This is where advocates worry, because accountability for people mistreated by border agents has frequently been blocked by both the border union and CBP leadership itself. While dozens of agents were implicated for their involvement in a racist, horrific Facebook group where posters mocked the death of a migrant child in U.S. custody, just two—two—agents were ultimately fired. 

“Documents and information obtained by the committee show that CBP determined that 60 Border Patrol agents engaged in misconduct related to secret Facebook groups during the Trump administration, and were subject to discipline,” the House Oversight and Reform Committee said last month. “However, CBP significantly reduced the punishments imposed on most of these agents.” The report said that the Border Patrol union (which has ties to white supremacist rag Breitbart) invoked arbitration for an agent who posted a sexually violent image of a member of Congress, likely Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. 

CBP’s Discipline Review Board had recommended that agent’s removal. The agent not only came back to work, but was awarded back pay for their 60-day suspension.

In response to outrage over Del Rio, CBP had said it was temporarily stopping horse patrols. “DHS remains committed to conducting a thorough, independent, and objective investigation,” Tuesday’s statement continued. We’ll see. “DHS will share information, as available, consistent with the need to protect the integrity of the investigation and individuals’ privacy.” 

“We are disappointed to see @DHSgov treating Del Rio as a one-off, and not a direct consequence of systemic violence targeting Black migrants,” the Texas Civil Rights Project tweeted. “Black migrants are more likely to be deported & face harsher consequences in their deportation, and less likely to have their DACA accepted. @DHSgov needs to take a deeper look at how they treat Black migrants, not conduct a superficial investigation.” Haitian Bridge Alliance, one of the fiercest advocates for Haitian migrants, responded with a tweet featuring Mayorkas’ quote. “We are still awaiting a decision,” the group said.

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Speaker Nancy Pelosi is ready to be done with anything having to do anything with infrastructure, and who can blame her? One bill done, dusted, and signed, she’s ready to get the next one out of there. That means it’s threat-making time for her caucus. Do your work or you don’t get to have recess. It always works better on holidays, too.

Chances are very good that they will be done with work on President Joe Biden’s very popular Build Back Better (BBB) Act in plenty of time to get home for Thanksgiving. That’s the human infrastructure part of his big jobs and family agenda: a bill that addresses climate change, provides expanded support for families with universal pre-K and paid family leave, and continues popular programs from the American Rescue plan including monthly Child Tax Credit payments of up to $300 per child, and more affordable health care coverage under the Affordable Care Act.

But the fact that they don’t want to screw up this time off could be what’s making everyone in the House play nice this week—even the problem children in the Sabotage Squad. It appears that the hard work Rep. Pramila Jayapal and other members of the Congressional Progressive Caucus did with conservative Democrats to find a compromise that allowed them to advance BBB and pass the Infrastructure Investment and Jobs Act did break up some logjams.

“I think people want to get it done before the week’s over,” Rep. Henry Cuellar of Texas, one of the conservatives who’s been pushing back on BBB, told Politico. “There’s still some things I don’t like, but we’re going to look at it and then take it from there.” One of the conservative Democrats’ ring leaders, Rep. Josh Gottheimer of New Jersey, was also sounding conciliatory. “My full expectation based on what the White House told us, what Treasury told us, is that it will meet our expectations,” he said.

He’s talking about the Congressional Budget Office’s (CBO) upcoming full score of the bill, something the conservatives insisted on getting this week before they would vote for BBB. That’s probably going to happen, the CBO says. It has completed estimates on about half of the bill’s individual titles, with five more expected on Friday at the latest.

The White House is being cautious on the expectations of the CBO score when it comes to revenue, telling Politico that the “CBO’s analysis won’t necessarily show the bill is fully paid for, in part because of the way CBO tallies the savings from a huge IRS policy provision.” The CBO will probably say around $200 billion, the White House estimates $400 billion. “So far, so good,” Pelosi said of the CBO’s scoring, saying she thinks the report will show it’s fully paid for.

Then there’s the Senate. More specifically, there’s Sen. Joe Manchin, the Democrat from West Virginia who is truly relishing the limelight of playing spoiler. The House is working to make sure everything they put in the bill can pass muster under budget reconciliation rules, the process that will let the bill pass with just Democratic votes. That will give them one more advantage in winning over Manchin, if he decides to start playing nice and stop delaying.

Majority Leader Chuck Schumer is nonetheless pushing. He said early Tuesday that his goal is having BBB done before Christmas. Manchin hemmed and hawed about that, saying he has “a lot of concerns” with that plan. Schumer, however, came back in his press conference Tuesday afternoon, and is sticking to that timeframe.

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Republican Rep. Madison Cawthorn of North Carolina is trending. Take a wild guess why. 

Cawthorn is trending because he has gone on yet another stupid-racist rant. Yes, “anotha one” (cue DJ Khalid voice). He just can’t seem to stop calling for violence and attempting to mix religion in with his xenophobic racist ideology.

The Donald Trump minion who has been accused of sexual harassment and warned of bloodshed” over elections has now gone beyond his claims that the 2020 election was “stolen.” Cawthorn is now campaigning against the “welfare state,” claiming that, while he has “no problem helping the needy,” he “will not fund the lazy.”

But that’s not all! In the same senseless speech, he also discusses racism, religion—because he’s a great Christian—and flights. You got that, he also talks about his difficulty waiting for airline flights—which he (obviously!) blames on people of color.

How does it all tie together? Well, why don’t you watch these clips and tell me.

Let’s begin with him perpetuating stereotypes as he attempts to discuss his lack of understanding of welfare. Of course, after doing this he must find a way to attack feminism and create a link between America, the great, and Jesus Christ.

But he cannot do this without claiming that the schools “teach [children] that America is some racist, hateful country.” Which he must assure the audience is a lie, because “America is the greatest force for good to happen since Jesus Christ died on the cross.”

Here’s when he claims he couldn’t get on a flight because of “very destitute-looking people” who “didn’t speak English.” That’s not racist to say though … because well America isn’t racist, remember.

This rant isn’t the only thing that has had Cawthorn making headlines this week. The NC lawmaker definitely ticked off Republicans last week when he announced his decision to change congressional districts. Cawthorn will now be running against NC House Speaker Tim Moore. Prior to Cawthorn’s announcement, Republicans were certain Moore would make the house run unchallenged and “incumbent-free,” Charlotte Observer reported. But Cawthorn had to ruin that for them. Sucks to suck.

How many times must Twitter mock this man for him to just shut up?

Feel free to throw some numbers down below in the comments.

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He incited an insurrection but former President Donald Trump, in his ongoing bid to keep records sought by the Jan. 6 committee out of investigators’ hands, argued Tuesday that their release would irreparably harm the powers of the presidency and the Constitution, and amount to an “inquisition” led by Congress.

In a 68-page brief filed at the U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia, Trump’s attorney Jessie Binnall lashed out at a lower court’s recent ruling that refused to grant Trump’s motion to shroud the documents.

Lawmakers on the Jan. 6 committee contend the information they are after is key to understanding exactly what happened during and before the attack on the U.S. Capitol, and the attempt to stop the certification of the 2020 election results.

They also maintain that this information could effectively prevent another similar event from occurring ever again.

But for Trump, the hand-off of hundreds upon hundreds of pages from the National Archives to the select committee is an affront that threatens “enormous consequences” that could “forever change” the dynamics of power in the United States. 

“It is naïve to assume that the fallout will be limited to President Trump or the events of Jan. 6, 2021. Every Congress will point to some unprecedented thing about ‘this President’ to justify a request for presidential records,” Binnall wrote.

He continued: “In these hyperpartisan times, Congress will increasingly and inevitably use this new weapon to perpetually harass its political rival.”

The core of Trump’s argument on Tuesday is a familiar one and one he used, at least in part, in the 2020 Supreme Court case Trump v. Mazars USA, LLP.

In that case, where the U.S. House of Representatives sought Trump’s tax returns, the delineation between executive privilege and the separation of powers was put to the test. The high court ultimately found that when resolving legislative and executive branch disputes, a request for private information from the executive means that Congress must be using that information to fulfill its original purpose: to legislate.

But Mazars did not fully answer questions over claims to executive privilege. This case is unique in that respect. 

Trump insists that the committee is not requesting the records for any legislative purpose, but rather to criminally investigate and try him and to use him as a sort of guinea pig to see precisely how far congressional powers can go.

“The President’s unique constitutional positions means that Congress may not look to him as a ‘case study’ for general legislation. [Jan. 6 Committee Chairman Bennie Thompson’s] request openly flouts this rule by admitting that the Committee’s request seeks to ‘identify lessons learned and recommend laws, policies and procedures, rules or regulations necessary… in the future,’ effectively treating President Trump as a test subject,” Binnall wrote.

When U.S. District Judge Tanya Chutkan denied Trump’s previous attempt to block the National Archives from transmitting the records to Congress, she dressed the 45th president down. Chutkan ruled that while Trump was welcome to invoke executive privilege, as was his right, whatever remnants of power might be afforded him as a onetime president did not mean his powers were absolute.

Chutkan found he could not override in full the committee’s power to investigate, and especially so when incumbent President Joe Biden did not claim executive privilege over the sensitive documents.

“His position that he may override the express will of the executive branch appears to be premised on the notion that his executive power ‘exists in perpetuity,’” Chutkan wrote of Trump. “But presidents are not kings, and the plaintiff is not president.”

Trump’s attorney was quick to retort Tuesday: “President’s are not kings, yet congressional power is not limitless, regardless of presidential dictate.”

And in a jab at President Biden, Binnall continued: “When the Supreme Court noted that executive privilege exists for the benefit of the Republic, it meant the People’s interest in a functioning government, not the whims of the sitting President who may be unable see past his own political considerations.”

Trump, he added, is not attempting to forgo disclosure of the records because of “some wrongdoing, as such wrongdoing never occurred,” Binnall wrote.

“Rather, the request’s abject failure to identify proposed legislation and why the president’s information will advance such legislation are evidence that the committee’s request has an improper law enforcement purpose that its fundamental nature is plainly for law enforcement purposes,” he said.

Considering Tuesday’s appeal, Chad Oldfather, a professor of law at Marquette University Law School, told Daily Kos in an email Tuesday that it is “difficult to predict precisely how this will come out because this is an area where there’s not a lot of law in the sense of past judicial decisions that can be drawn on to provide precise guidance.”

“The reason for that is that for the most part, in the past, Congress and the President were able to work these things out without the need to resort to the courts. And one of the reasons they were able to work things out was that both sides to such requests shared an understanding that the other side was acting in good faith,” Marquette wrote. “That sort of understanding is, of course, nowhere to be found these days.”

Oldfather also remarked on the irony of arguments presented to the appeals court.

“One of the Trump team arguments is that allowing Congress to succeed with such a broad request would shift the balance of power too much. But the same can be said about the over-aggressive claims of executive privilege, which the Trump administration has consistently made. Concerns about overreach on both sides are real, and the trick for a court is to figure out how to draw a principled line,” Oldfather said. 

Principles aside, Trump, for now, rigorously maintains that the committee’s requests are “supercilious.”

“If this Court were to accept the rationale of the district court, it would lead to the erosion and eventual destruction both of the separation of powers concerns underlying Mazars and executive privilege. In their place, Congress would be vested with an unprecedented—and unconstitutional—power of inquisition,” Binall wrote.

And as he has so often done, Trump appeared ready yet again to rely on delay as a legal tactic. 

“Unlike the irreparable harm President Trump will suffer absent interim relief, defendants would suffer no harm by delaying production while the parties litigate the request’s validity. There will not be another Presidential transition for more than three years; Congress has time to allow the courts to consider this expedited appeal while it continues to legislate,” Binnall wrote.

Oral arguments are slated at the appeals court for Nov. 30. At that time, judges will consider the question of whether or not to keep the temporary block now applied to the National Archives in place, even as Trump’s claims of executive privilege are reviewed.

If the appeals court decides to release that hold, Trump will likely file another appeal, kicking the case up to the U.S. Supreme Court.

A representative for the Jan. 6  committee did not immediately respond to request for comment on Tuesday.

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Shortly after 13 House Republicans joined 215 Democrats last week to pass a $1 trillion infrastructure bill, GOP lawmakers went to war with each other.

Some House radicals—who are apparently the dominant force in the GOP caucus—labeled the measure “socialist” and called their 13 colleagues “traitors.” Presumably, that went for Senate Republicans, too, after they helped negotiate the bill and about 40% of their caucus voted for it.

The pettiest man alive, Donald Trump, groused that “Old Crow” Mitch McConnell had voted for it while being “incapable” of delivering a similar bill during Trump’s tenure. McConnell, in turn, called the Biden bill a “godsend” to his state.

Republicans are still warring over the bill even as a new Washington Post-ABC News poll shows that 63% of Americans support the bill while just 32% oppose it.

The survey question was very simple: Do you support or oppose the federal government spending one trillion dollars on roads, bridges, and other infrastructure?

And yes, nearly two-thirds of respondents said they did support the trillion-dollar investment in roads, bridges, rural broadband, and more, while a fringey 32% opposed the spending.

The poll—entirely in line with polling of the bipartisan measure over the last several months—highlights that while the American people still broadly support infrastructure investments to benefit everyone, congressional Republicans have become so extreme, they are inciting death threats against their own members for giving the voters what they want.

In the Republican Party, you can no longer do broadly popular things if it in any way benefits your opponents. Passing good things for your constituents is treasonous if it also helps the other party and their constituency. In other words, backing anything that benefits everyone is an act of treason.

Republicans are still at each others’ throats over the passage of the popular legislation. During a House GOP conference meeting Monday, Rep. Dan Bishop of North Carolina filed a resolution to strip Rep. John Katko of New York of being the ranking member on the Homeland Security Committee.

But that was relatively mild compared to the screaming match that broke out between Rep. Chip Roy of Texas and Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy of California, according to CNN reporter Melanie Zanona.

Roy was lamenting that he’ll be on the hook to explain to voters in his district why they should support Republicans when just handed Democrats a big infrastructure win.

“McCarthy then got up and shot back that he’s had to explain to voters many times votes that Roy has taken,” according to Zanona.

As Zanona put it: “House Republicans are more angry at the GOP lawmakers who voted for infrastructure than at Paul Gosar for posting a video depicting violence against Dems.” Gosar’s video depicted him executing Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York, to be exact.

But, yes, exactly. In today’s GOP, bipartisanship is more unforgivable than fomenting violence against your opponents.

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A new Hill-HarrisX poll found that 69% of registered voters believe that “cancel culture” unfairly punishes people for their past misdeeds. But is everyone “canceled” the same? And when did it become unfair to hold people accountable? 

First off, let’s unpack the history of the term. The phrase “cancel culture” started in 2014 on Black Twitter. It was used to call out the past wrongdoings of public figures. Today, the term has morphed into something new, co-opted by white people who don’t want their pasts coming back to haunt them, and in their ever-perfect whiteness have weaponized cancel culture to correct those holding them liable. Leave it to the colonizers to turn their villainy onto their oppressed. 

Now, let’s talk about anti-cancel culture. This group includes folks like Sen. Ted Cruz, Meghan McCain, Candace Owens, and the Tucker Carlsons of the world. Those who criticize cancel culture as another version of political correctness, and conflate systemic racism and inequality with accountability and the reckoning that comes along with it. 

A perfect example is Cruz’s crusade against canceling six of Dr. Seuss’ books containing racist and offensively stereotypical images of Black and Asian people, but not addressing the insanity behind a Loudon County, Virginia, suburban housewife and Republican operative in her drive to ban books she hasn’t even read. 

Let’s not even begin to discuss the hypocrisy of canceling Colin Kaepernick, but allowing Aaron Rodgers to continue playing, or Mel Gibson (soon to begin directing the fifth Lethal Weapon), Woody Allen, Bill Cosby, OJ Simpson, and of course the biggest grifter of them all, the former one-term, twice-impeached President Donald Trump—all are out there living their best lives without any repercussions at all. 

Professor of Public Policy at Davidson College, Issac Bailey wrote an op-ed for Newsweek talking extensively about the hypocrisy of cancel culture as it related to the “unfair treatment of a handful of white staff members at Smith College,” versus “a collective yawn about what Black and brown student-athletes at places such as Kentucky University and the University of Texas have been facing while fighting for racial equality.” 

Or the sheer caucasity of the outrage when a white science reporter’s career came to an end at The New York Times, when he uttered the n-word (he didn’t mean it, they screamed) but were “unmoved by a comprehensive report detailing the less-than-ideal working conditions many journalists there have been experiencing at the Times, with journalists of color taking the brunt of it,” Baily writes. 

The right-wing’s latest attack on cancel culture has shifted to include the “woke crowd.” 

Let’s look at the history of “woke.” According to Vox, “stay woke” was a phrase to the wise about being vigilant as a Black person living in America, adopted by Black Lives Matter activists to keep an eye out for police brutality and abuse. 

It was a call-out to white people to wake up and smell the systemic racism. Today, it’s a rallying cry from the right to belittle the left. And just like the condemnation of critical race theory, the disapproval of being woke gives racists and those on the right an excuse to continue ignoring or simply facing the reality of their collective horrific history around the globe. 

Having a slap on the wrist aka a $14,650 fine for a millionaire NFL player is insulting when compared to the daily cancelations Black and brown people, have suffered in this nation for hundreds of years. 

Former CIA director and former Secretary of State under Trump, Mike Pompeo—who, according to The New York Times, has been named the worst secretary of state in American history—tweeted Tuesday about his “resistance to socialism,” “woke cancel culture,” and his slipping “freedoms.” 

Really, Pompeo? How are you being impacted by cancel culture? Who’s canceling you? You were a total failure in your role designed to build diplomacy, but in fact, busting it to pieces, and now there’s talk of your 2024 presidential run. 

My father was in effect canceled when he was chased out of a small town in Louisiana for looking at a white woman. I was canceled by a boss at a major radio station in Los Angeles when I was told not to get “uppity” after asking for a raise. Or the mass cancelation of Indigenous people by massacring them and forcing them onto reservations where industries poison their water, air and land. 

Let’s not forget the ongoing police brutality that has historically canceled the lives of Black and brown people such as Daunte Wright, Andre Hill, Manuel Ellis, Rayshard Brooks, Daniel Prude, Breonna Taylor, Atatiana Jefferson, Aura Rosser, Stephon Clark, Botham Jean, DJ Henry, and George Floyd, to name a few—these are the lessons in true cancellation. 

Finally, when someone like Dave Chappelle gets blasted for his comments about the trans community, he should listen. I also think he should address the complaints and learn from them, and maybe even make some changes. But Chappelle hasn’t been canceled. This month the comedian embarks on a 10-city headlining arena tour that appears to be sold out. 

So instead of discussing canceling Chappelle, let’s mention a few of the trans women who were canceled just in 2021—Tyianna Alexander, Bianca “Muffin” Bankz, Dominque Jackson, Fifty Bandz, Alexus Braxton, Cyna Carillo, and Diamond Kyree Sanders, to name a few. 

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Today, on The Brief, we’re talking Arizona.

Along with Georgia, Democrats managed massive vote shifts in 2020, helping deliver the state to Joe Biden. Donald Trump still hasn’t gotten over it. 
 

Trump increased his ARIZONA vote total by over 400,000 in four years, which should’ve been enough to hold the state after beating Hillary Clinton by 3.5% in 2016. Instead, Joe Biden and the Democrats turned out over 500,000 new votes for the Democratic presidential ticket. That’s an unbelievable 44% increase! 

Knowing the Trump base will turn out again, how do Democrats hold on to those gains, if not build on them? Arizona will be a critical battleground on every possible level—Democratic Secretary of State Katie Hobbs, who held the ground against Trump’s efforts to steal the election, is running for governor. We have to win that race. We must also retain the SoS office. Meanwhile, Sen. Mark Kelly is running for a full-term after winning a special election in 2020. 

We are still waiting on new maps in Arizona, but we are pretty much guaranteed competitive House seats in a tight House of Representatives, and should have a chance at picking up the state legislature. You know what that means, right? No more fraudits, a government that encourages voter turnout, and lots of other things. 

Our guest on The Brief today is Montserrat Arredondo of One Arizona, which worked with partner organizations to register over 250,000 new voters in the 2020 cycle. We needed every single one of them! 

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Donald Trump-loyal “attorney” Sidney Powell is one of the members of the Republican election-sabotage team who pushed the wildest, and most obviously false, hoaxes to justify Republican demands that Trump’s election loss be overturned Because Reasons. There’s good reason to believe she ought to end up in jail as a key member of an attempted coup, but if she’s working on an insanity defense … it’s going to be a pretty solid one.

In yet another revelation from a new book, aka the practice of hiding information vital for the health of our democracy until you’ve got enough of it collected to charge thirty bucks for it, ABC news guy Jonathan Karl reveals that Powell called Trump intelligence official Ezra Cohen in an apparent panic, during the Republican team’s attempt to cobble together conspiracy theories sufficient to nullify a U.S. election. The reason? She evidently believed the Director of the CIA, Gina Haspel, had been captured in Germany while trying to personally retrieve a secret computer server that would prove something-something election fraud Hillary Clinton blueberry pancake glitter bomb. Or something.

It was a theory wafting around in the batshit layers of QAnon, and here’s Trump’s new election nullifier-slash-lawyer calling the Pentagon’s undersecretary of defense for intelligence in an absolute panic.

“Gina Haspel has been hurt and taken into custody in Germany,” Karl reports Powell allegedly told Cohen, and the Pentagon “needs to launch a special operations mission to get her.”

Now, let us pause here to ponder a very necessary what the fk. The person who was helping Rudy Giuliani craft hoaxes worthy of tearing up the Constitution so that Republicans would not have to give up the White House to Joe Biden, the person who represented Trump ally Michael Flynn after Flynn got caught doing ridiculous crimes for ridiculous reasons, is somehow convinced that the director of the CIA was on a secret mission to Germany to personally retrieve an invisible elections-stealing server. But Oh No, Germany has captured her, and now the military has to send in a top special operations team to invade Germany and spring the CIA head from a German prison.

This is DONALD TRUMP’S DAMN FREAKING ELECTION-FRAUD-PROMOTING CRACKPOT LAWYER calling Cohen up in a panic. The person who also is telling courtrooms that, actually, Donald Trump’s election loss doesn’t count because allies of Joe Biden secretly defraudipated Republicans, while Arizona crackpots are claiming China’s been shipping in “bamboo”-tainted Biden ballots and anyone willing to say they saw a pizza get delivered to an elections office is being interviewed about well, could the pizza box be full of Biden ballots? And this is THE ACTUAL STUFF HAPPENING as justification for nullifying United States democracy.

“Cohen thought Powell sounded out of her mind, according to the book,” sez ABC News. Yeah, you think?

You know what might have been really damn helpful at the time? For anyone involved with “intelligence” or anything else in government to pipe up at the time when one of the people attempting to end our democracy is very possibly high on ‘shrooms and demanding military invasions of Germany. Jeebus Cracker von Basketcase, nobody thought this was worth mentioning throughout the entire attempted coup?

Really?

All of this should be a friendly reminder that fascism, in its most basic form, is an inherently batshit movement that doesn’t just promote conspiracy theories but revels in them as an excuse for whatever actions its in-power practitioners feel like doing at whatever point in time they feel like doing it. A fascist American government might claim that, actually, Iran is developing nuclear election fraud technology and needs to be invaded immediately—and will do it. A fascist American government might claim that Jewish Space Lasers are rewriting ballots from space, insist that non-fascist votes be thrown out as laser-based forgeries, and expel any elections officials who do not comply from office. None of it makes sense. That is what makes it fascism: A devotion to governing by conspiracy theories, led not by a nation’s intellectuals but by whoever can most successfully prod the public into believing absurd and dangerous things.

State Republicans have been furiously passing actual laws premised on the conspiracy theories Powell and Giuliani were spewing—conspiracy theories no less ridiculous than, “omg our CIA director has been captured in Germany while on a secret mission to retrieve a computer that made Trump lose.” It doesn’t matter to anyone whether they’re true or false, and they’re not going to give a damn when they learn that the person who flew in to testify about how elections were being stolen from them turns out to be, no surprise, a gullible crackpot who was grasping at whatever completely asinine bullshit happened to float by her eyeballs. It was all fake, from beginning to end.

Powell, though, appears to have actually believed that bullshit. As a defense against seditious conspiracy, that’s … probably a damn solid one, actually. Jeebus.