Tom Cotton wrongfully rambles on Fox News, claims people who aren't parents shouldn't be teachers

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You know, a lot of us don’t have kids, and yet somehow we instinctively know that Arkansas Sen. Tom Cotton needs a timeout … and perhaps a binky.

Cotton—who represents such a reliably red state that he could be caught masturbating on the Acela train in a Mayor McCheese costume and not lose any voters—appeared on Fox News’ America’s Newsroom with Bill Hemmer on Tuesday to lob a stunningly misguided attempt to discredit the head of the nation’s largest educators’ union, who spent her weekend campaigning with Terry McAuliffe, the Democratic candidate for Virginia governor.

Maybe someone needs to sniff Cotton’s diaper, too, because this is a pantload the likes of which no one has ever seen before. Cotton, with his signature dead eyes and syrupy Southern drawl, told Hemmer that people who don’t have children aren’t qualified to educate children.

Yes, really.

Roll the tape.

Transcript!

HEMMER: “Randi Weingardner [sic] is the president of the American Federation of Teachers. She’s been a target throughout COVID and beyond. Terry McAuliffe had her at his final campaign rally last night in northern Virginia. What’s that tell you?”

COTTON: “I mean, isn’t it amazing that Terry McAuliffe ends his entire campaign with the head of the teachers unions. Randi Weingarten is a joke. Randi Weingarten does not even have children of her own. What in the hell does she know about raising and teaching kids? In fact, that’s probably why she was perfectly fine to shut down schools for two years and force kids to wear masks, because she didn’t have to deal with it at home. And, if fact, Loudoun County, where they finished their campaign, the exact county that covered up two rapes, is also, now, closing schools this week. That’s what Democrats across the state of Virginia are going to do if Terry McAuliffe gets reelected. They’re going to shut down your schools again.”

Yes, God forbid these childfree nanny-state liberals try to prevent Virginia kids from, you know, dying. Or from spreading a deadly virus to their more vulnerable elders. What an outrage. 

Of course, school districts’ agonizing deliberations over how to protect kids in public schools would be a thing of the past if more people simply got vaccinated. And while Cotton has gently nudged people toward the vaccine, he’s not exactly been insistent, having said, “Don’t take Dr. Fauci’s word for it. Talk to your doctor. Make the decision that’s right for you.” Yeah, unfortunately, for too many of Cotton’s constituents, their “doctor” is the cashier at the feed store who hooks them up with that sweet, sweet livestock medicine. And Arkansas, the state Cotton purports to serve, remains a laggard when it comes to vaccination rates. 

Weingarten, who is a lesbian, noted in her response that childfree people have been ably teaching kids for centuries.

For the nontweeters:

WEINGARTEN: “Wait…Did I misread this or did Tom Cotton just say any teacher who is not also a parent shouldn’t be able to teach? Really? Is he now disqualifying every nun from teaching? Or is this simply a new divisive & hateful homophobic slur against LGBTQ teachers?”

Oh, good point, Randi. There are these things called universities, and at these venerable laboratories of learning, parents, future parents, and the childfree all learn best practices in pedagogy. But, hey, keep gurgling nonsense, Cotton. I mean, this is like distrusting your childfree pediatrician so much that you bring your kids to the Duggars’ for a COVID-19-spreading party. 

I’ll trust the educator who doesn’t want more Americans to die. Seems like the obvious choice. We’ll see what Virginia voters think tonight.

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